Three little words that work magic. “I like you.”
Children are so much better than adults at communicating. They don’t shy away from eye contact. They tell us when they need stuff. They speak from the heart. And they take chances. They’re not afraid of rejection like we are.

The writer of this note has decided that it’s better to know where he or she stands, and I bet this was sent in the early stages of a crush. Notice how the writer fully allows for the possibility of rejection, giving the recipient a choice and an opportunity to respond honestly. There’s something else we can deduce. The writer is confident. Whether the other person likes them or not, they have the self-esteem to initiate and be vulnerable. They think their odds are good of getting a yes. But they’ll be resilient if the answer is no. They won’t assume they’re not likable.

Saying “I like you” as an adult feels fraught with significance, neediness, and risk. But that’s because we fear in a way that children don’t. If you can set aside that fear to express something genuine and good, you’ll come across as confident and likable. You may even kickstart the relationship to a new level. If the other person does not share your feelings, you’ve just saved yourself time. Maybe even a lot of time.

When is the best time to look someone in the eye and confidently tell them you like them? As soon as you feel it. Here are 20 suggestions to get you started:

When he takes your hand.
When you take her hand.
At the end of your first conversation.
When you initiate a date.
When you are so enthused you need to share it.
After sharing a big laugh.
Before kissing her.
After kissing him.
As you hand him your phone number.
When you need to know how she feels.
When you realize this one is special.
When you want to escalate emotionally.
When he needs reassurance.
When you want to make it clear you are not to be f*cked with.
Before sex.
During pillow talk.
When you want to see her again.
To accompany a generous gesture.
When you ask him back to your place.
When you want to make it clear you don’t do casual.

Context matters, but saying “I like you” is no big deal. It can mean anything from “I’m having fun with you” to “I want to be exclusive.” A person who is interested in dating you will make sure to respond in kind. And even if they’re not, no one will think you’re a creeper for saying “I like you.”

The best relationships start out with a lack of game playing and manipulation. Be direct, honest and confident – you will find it is a very effective strategy. Tell me honestly – do you do this? Are you willing to try it? What moments did you choose to say “I like you?” Or did you just blurt it out impulsively?